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My Biggest Fear

Realize that this is a hyperbole. Obviously my greatest fear in the whole realm of existence isn't this. That would be crazy. There are so many horrible things I could fear, but ignorance and removal from the majority of significant threats prevent those things from being very real to me. For example, some people live every day with the threat of bombs going off where they live. I am thankful that I don't really have that worry.

Yes, a plane could crash on my house, but since that's so far removed -- so unlikely -- I just don't really fear it.

So what is it that I fear most? The vicious predator that lurks in your gardens. She hides in plain sight. She waits for just the right moment to make her move, and once you've faced her wrath, you can never be the same. Great evil ones have gone before her: Shelob, Khan, Jabba the Hutt, the Kardashians. But none can match the depths of her depravity. She is the fearsome:



Yep. The ladybug.

You might be wondering why. Actually, there's no "might" about it. You think I'm crazy. You might have a point. But before you judge, let me explain.

When I was a kid, we would sometimes go visit my mom's parents who lived in Gray, Georgia. It's country out there, folks. Dirt road country. And it's hot.

This particular summer, for some reason, there was a ladybug infestation. Like the plagues but ladybugs instead of locusts.

All throughout the inside of their house, ladybugs swarmed. The ceiling was red. The beds were covered. Every surface was ladybugs. When ladybugs die, it stinks really bad. In droves, it's really awful. And they bite! Did you know that? Yes ladybugs do bite and it hurts!

So here we are, with stinking, dying, flying, swarming, crawling, biting ladybugs surrounding us. We were trying to sweep them down off the ceiling and "herd" them outside, but you can imagine how well that went.

I didn't feel clean for a week at least. And now you know why I have a ladybug phobia. Stay away, spawn of Satan.




Comments

  1. LOL I love the picture at the end.

    One ladybug doesn't bother me, but yeah, those swarms of them are HORRIBLE. One year when I was growing up our house was just INFESTED with them...not even sure why, because it was JUST that one year. Maybe they're like locusts? I don't know. Regardless, yuck.

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