Utter Failures

I saw this article this morning and immediately thought of myself. Thankfully I haven't sustained any really bad injuries due to falling. I did hurt my back in a way that annoyingly pops up again every once in a while, but honestly I can't complain. I did find it very interesting that one of the people the article discusses shares my former last name, Stapp. Talk about fate. "[T]he father of injury biomechanics was an Air Force flight surgeon named John Stapp." Seriously... things happen for a reason. Enjoy the article. http://boingboing.net/2014/05/29/the-science-of-faceplanting.html

A guest post by my sister, Charlotte Stapp, on her birthday. When I was smaller, one of my favorite snacks was an orange.  The thing is, I would never think of it myself. Dad would bring an orange downstairs for himself, and start peeling it and pulling it apart in perfectly neat sections. This always amazed me.  About halfway through this process, he would look up and notice a wide-eyed little girl staring eagerly at the orange in his hands. He never failed to ask if I wanted one, which of course, I did. He would give me the one he was working on, and then get himself another one.  Nostalgia aside, I still really like oranges. The problem is that I completely fail at peeling them and pulling them apart neatly the way my dad did, and the way I liked them to be. I've tried it just using my hands. I've tried it using a knife, but I always end up ripping into it like a savage desperate for citrus-y goodness. Behold, my shredded snack, two days in a row:   ...

A very funny guest blog by Eliott Stokes You would not think it was my fate, To lose my hold upon the plate, But lo it made a dreadful sound, When it hit upon the ground, The carrots scattered, The dishes rattled, The chips flew wide, The cheese ended on its side. I thought that this would end my tale, But today it was an epic fail. As I ventured up the stairs, Trying to leave behind my cares, Holding coffee and treats in hand, I didn’t quite expect to land, Suddenly and without grace, With coffee dripping down my face, Sweets tumbling far and high and low, To my knees and elbows, I did go. I landed hard and was in pain, I wasn’t quickly to regain, My sense of balance or my pride. But before the coffee dried, I tackled the mess with sponge and broom, And then retreated to my room. It keeps me calm and helps my worry, To share with you this cautionary story, Hold tight to plates and drink, They’re more slippery than one might think.

I got distracted in champ select and didn't realize it was my turn. I was reading a Game of Thrones theory on Reddit (Is a certain sellsword also a certain Greyjoy?) Anyway, so then because I didn't select my champ in 30 seconds, we had to wait 5 minutes as a penalty before we could try again. Riot plz. GG.

This was our friend Eliott's cheese slicer, may it rest in pieces. This is why we can't have nice things.