Utter Failures

I was about 4 or 5 when I remember first having significant anxiety issues. A couple memories stand out: My mom had started a job that would require Sarah and me to go to daycare during the day, and I didn’t even make it through the first day. I remember a lot about that day, panicking over being in an unfamiliar place with people I didn’t know and not knowing where they had taken my sister (in a different room). I freaked out to the point that they called my mom and she quit her job that day and came to pick us up. When I was in kindergarten, I started to shut down. I didn’t interact with the other kids and mostly kept to myself. I remember going to some type of family doctor/therapist/something and answering questions about how I felt about different things at home and school. In elementary, I remember just generally being very anxious and shy. I was afraid of new things and unfamiliar situations. And as I got older, that didn’t really change. Junior high is...

I often wonder why “universal we” keep things bottled up in secret and don’t share what’s really going on. Why aren’t we more real with each other? That is one reason why I started this blog. It’s been stagnant for a while (Sorry… life is busy and I’ve focused on other priorities for a while!), but the whole point was to be a counterbalance to all the “perfect mom” blogs that I see out there that are, quite frankly, discouraging more often than not. But then I started to consider if maybe my blog was leaning a little too far the other way: glorifying imperfection as a goal and actually encouraging failure. So let me be clear: Failure is not my goal. To those of you succeeding at various things, I am super happy for you! I’m succeeding at some things, too. And failing at some things. The point of this blog is to be encouraging to everyone who might read it, whether you’re in a season of life that’s full of the fruits of your hard work or whether you’re, like me, in a more fallow, ...