I often wonder why “universal we” keep things bottled up in
secret and don’t share what’s really going on. Why aren’t we more real with
each other? That is one reason why I started this blog. It’s been stagnant for
a while (Sorry… life is busy and I’ve focused on other priorities for a
while!), but the whole point was to be a counterbalance to all the “perfect
mom” blogs that I see out there that are, quite frankly, discouraging more
often than not.
But then I started to consider if maybe my blog was leaning
a little too far the other way: glorifying imperfection as a goal and actually
encouraging failure. So let me be clear: Failure is not my goal. To those of
you succeeding at various things, I am super happy for you! I’m succeeding at
some things, too. And failing at some things. The point of this blog is to be
encouraging to everyone who might read it, whether you’re in a season of life
that’s full of the fruits of your hard work or whether you’re, like me, in a
more fallow, slow season of life. Whether you get up at 4am to work out before
you start your busy day or whether you get up at 4am with a crying baby before
you spend the whole next sleep-deprived day in your pajamas. I feel you. We’ve
been there.
We’re all messed up, but I think sometimes we take a measure
of relief in being “not as messed up” as other people. Pride, in other words.
If I can take this into the Christian space for a second, I
think it’s so encouraging when Christians share what’s really going on. I know
there’s a time and place for them, but I really dislike “unspoken” prayer
requests. Share your heart! Tell someone what’s going on if you can! And the
all-too-common idea that I’ve so often encountered that counseling is for
people who are really messed up or something that you need when there’s a big
problem. Why wait for there to be a BIG problem? We all need counseling and
advice and help and community. One of the best things we did as a couple was doing some marriage counseling before Sebastian was born. Nothing was “wrong” with
us. We weren’t in trouble. But we’ve been married 10 years this year. We are
two stubborn people with our own issues and ways of communicating. Of course we
could benefit from some sound counsel and advice...who wouldn’t, married or
not?
So I guess this blog is more of a chat than a big fail, but
I wanted to encourage you guys to be honest and open and share what’s really
going on. You never know who else is struggling with THE SAME THINGS! I
guarantee a lot of people are. One of the coolest things I’ve seen since I
started blogging was the comments from people thanking me for sharing my story
and opening up about their own issues.
Thank you to my friends who share their lives authentically,
not with perfection filters. Thanks to those who share what’s real. What you
and your home and your kids and your families really look like. How you really
live. Thanks for sharing about your depression, anxiety, addiction, jealousy,
envy, fear, and all the other struggles. Thanks for walking us through your
lives with illness and pain. And thanks to my friends who have let me walk with
them on their journeys with postpartum depression, severe anxiety, addiction,
and all the rest. You have helped me, encouraged me, and made me more willing to
share my own struggles with chronic pain and fatigue, anxiety, and fear with
others. As we dealt with Bastian’s food allergies, you followed along. As I
cried over feeling like a failure as a mom or just as a person, you were there,
via social media or in person.
Friends, we all have issues. Let’s talk about them and help
each other. Isn’t that the whole point?
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