This past week was a rough one. Bastian had a tooth coming in, which is always a fun time! After about a week of crankiness and runny nose, I decided to take him to check his ears for infection since he seems to get ear infections with every new tooth that comes in. And sure enough, he had a double ear infection, so we started antibiotics. On top of that, it turns out he also got a pretty bad cold, so he had a really terrible time last weekend and the first part of this week. We’re out of the weeds now, for the moment, but these are just some things I was thinking about over the past week or two.
I get really out of sorts when the status quo is off. Like, my plans fall through, or one or both kids don’t sleep well, or my nice, relaxing weekend is suddenly sleep-deprived and full of sickness. Obviously that type of situation will affect you, but I can really get thrown off and impose my own crankiness on everyone else. It feels unfair.
I’ve also noticed that I tend to place my hopes in a certain situation or outcome and, if that fails, I tend to get anxious or upset. For example, I got my hopes set on the antibiotics kicking in by day 3 and Sebastian being totally better by then. And when that didn’t happen and he was actually WORSE because of catching a cold, it threw off my whole weekend. Another example: I plan to run a quick errand at lunch, but because of traffic and an unexpected thing that comes up, I have to skip that errand, and it just makes me upset for the rest of the day.
Maybe the things that don’t go according to plan really do affect the rest of my day and maybe they don’t, but my emotions are tied to things that they shouldn’t be. My hope and joy can’t be so strongly tied to things that are constantly changing.
There’s an old song that I don’t actually really like all that much (weird tune), but the words are helpful. “My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus’ name. On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand.”
The reason I quote this part of the song a lot is because it’s so needed in my heart. Often, I could fill in the blank with so many other “hopes”...
My hope is built on nothing less than having a fun weekend.
My hope is built on nothing less than running all the errands I need to do.
My hope is built on nothing less than getting plenty of sleep tonight.
My hope is built on nothing less than being on time for everything.
My hope is built on nothing less than sitting down after the kids are in bed and not having to get back up to put our 4-year-old back to bed AGAIN because she was thirsty.
My hope is built on nothing less than not having anything unexpected come up in my workday.
My hope is built on nothing less than all my clients thinking I did a fantastic job on everything.
You see what I mean? I have a lot of “hopes” that let me down, and then I let myself wallow and complain and despair. Those “sweetest frames” of support that fail me -- doctors, schedules, traffic -- I shouldn’t have been leaning on them to begin with.
Guys, I totally have this down now and do it perfectly every time. ← This is a lie. I fail all the time at this, but I’m learning and working on it. Like I mentioned, last weekend was rough. But throughout the weekend I kept telling myself to roll with it. This is not forever. This is a part of life. The “obstacles” that I so often feel are preventing me from getting on with life are not obstacles. They ARE LIFE. They ARE what I need to be doing. They ARE shaping me and changing me and helping me to grow and mature.
As C.S. Lewis said, more eloquently than I, “The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own,' or 'real' life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life -- the life God is sending one day by day.”
With that perspective, even if I live it imperfectly, I know that I’ll be so much more at peace with everything that comes our way.
I get really out of sorts when the status quo is off. Like, my plans fall through, or one or both kids don’t sleep well, or my nice, relaxing weekend is suddenly sleep-deprived and full of sickness. Obviously that type of situation will affect you, but I can really get thrown off and impose my own crankiness on everyone else. It feels unfair.
I’ve also noticed that I tend to place my hopes in a certain situation or outcome and, if that fails, I tend to get anxious or upset. For example, I got my hopes set on the antibiotics kicking in by day 3 and Sebastian being totally better by then. And when that didn’t happen and he was actually WORSE because of catching a cold, it threw off my whole weekend. Another example: I plan to run a quick errand at lunch, but because of traffic and an unexpected thing that comes up, I have to skip that errand, and it just makes me upset for the rest of the day.
Maybe the things that don’t go according to plan really do affect the rest of my day and maybe they don’t, but my emotions are tied to things that they shouldn’t be. My hope and joy can’t be so strongly tied to things that are constantly changing.
There’s an old song that I don’t actually really like all that much (weird tune), but the words are helpful. “My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus’ name. On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand.”
The reason I quote this part of the song a lot is because it’s so needed in my heart. Often, I could fill in the blank with so many other “hopes”...My hope is built on nothing less than having a fun weekend.
My hope is built on nothing less than running all the errands I need to do.
My hope is built on nothing less than getting plenty of sleep tonight.
My hope is built on nothing less than being on time for everything.
My hope is built on nothing less than sitting down after the kids are in bed and not having to get back up to put our 4-year-old back to bed AGAIN because she was thirsty.
My hope is built on nothing less than not having anything unexpected come up in my workday.
My hope is built on nothing less than all my clients thinking I did a fantastic job on everything.
You see what I mean? I have a lot of “hopes” that let me down, and then I let myself wallow and complain and despair. Those “sweetest frames” of support that fail me -- doctors, schedules, traffic -- I shouldn’t have been leaning on them to begin with.
Guys, I totally have this down now and do it perfectly every time. ← This is a lie. I fail all the time at this, but I’m learning and working on it. Like I mentioned, last weekend was rough. But throughout the weekend I kept telling myself to roll with it. This is not forever. This is a part of life. The “obstacles” that I so often feel are preventing me from getting on with life are not obstacles. They ARE LIFE. They ARE what I need to be doing. They ARE shaping me and changing me and helping me to grow and mature.
As C.S. Lewis said, more eloquently than I, “The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own,' or 'real' life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life -- the life God is sending one day by day.”
With that perspective, even if I live it imperfectly, I know that I’ll be so much more at peace with everything that comes our way.
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