Skip to main content

Motherhood Expectations vs. Reality

Someone told me the other day I should have a blog about the reality of having kids since most "mom blogs" are more idealistic or at least don't show the everyday messy reality. I'm not going to create a new blog -- this one is largely about those types of things, anyway. But I decided I'd write a post about that topic. Keep in mind, this is my point of view and experience.

So here we go -- Having Kids: Expectations vs. Reality.

Expectation: I don't think I'm actually prepared to have kids
Reality: I wasn't

Expectation: I'm going to be really tired
Reality: I am

Expectation: I have no idea what I'm doing
Reality: I didn't

Expectation: I don't think I can do it all...
Reality: I can't

Expectation: I am going try my best to balance work and home life
Reality: Still working on that

Expectation: I'm pretty laid back. Wonder if I'll stay that way?
Reality: Eh...

Expectation: I don't like kids... I wonder if I'll really like mine?
Reality: Mostly. ;)

Expectation: I won't be that parent whose kids melt down in public
Reality: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Expectation: I don't think I'll have that "love at first sight" moment
Reality: I definitely did

Expectation: I'll be so ready to go back to work
Reality: Yes, but I also cried when I first took my kids to daycare. (BUT they love it and it was the best decision for us)

Expectation: I'm worried I won't like having kids
Reality: I mean, there are times I'm like, "What have I done??" But yeah overall I like it.

Expectation: Kids just kind of easily go through each milestone
Reality: Kids do what they want when they want

Expectation: Peanut butter sandwiches every day!
Reality: Peanut allergy

Expectation: I'll never let my kid sleep in bed with us
Reality: I'm too tired to fight this

Expectation: I have a plan and like to stick to it
Reality: I'm winging it

Expectation: Parents instinctively know what their kids need
Reality: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

Expectation: I have a pretty good memory
Reality: Why did I walk into this room again?

Expectation: I hope my kids don't just watch those annoying Disney kids shows
Reality: OH WHAT?? Pokemon is on Disney?! Done!

My very first expectation regarding kids, once we decided to try to have them, was that I was going to hate this. And when I found out I was pregnant with Alice, I was really scared. But right at my 4th month of pregnancy, we had a situation where I thought I was having a miscarriage, and that was my turning point. Because at that point, I went from being scared of having her to being scared of losing her.

The stuff above is kind of silly, kind of real. But the truth is every day is awesome and every day is hard. Kinda just like normal life? Granted, there's lots more to do, more moving pieces, and more sleep interruptions. But it's also really fun.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cloak Girl

So back in college, there was a girl who wore a forest green cape every day. I don't remember her name, though I roomed across the hall from her one year. She was obviously very into fantasy. She loved Lord of the Rings and had a whole fantasy village set up outside her room window. Most people thought she was a little weird and quite a few made fun of her. I remember just thinking she was a little different. I mean, I liked LOTR too, but I didn't wear a cape. No one else did. She was a nice girl though. I know she MUST have known she was the object of a lot of jokes. Despite what people think, you're never oblivious to that. Well, today, I made a green cloak. Now, I'm the "cape girl"! I guess some people might mock me. Honestly, I don't care. Not at this point. I've learned how to sew and can make a cloak! In fact, I did so in just a few hours today. So I'm pretty proud of myself. The character I'm cosplaying is Kvothe from The Name
1 comment
Read more

Mom of the Year

Before I write this blog post, I want to say a few things. By its nature, this post is exclusive. It is about one thing and not about other things. But it is not meant to say that one thing is better than another. It's just not about all those things. All of us who are parents are doing the best we can. I respect and admire those who choose to stay home with their little ones full-time. You're doing hard work, and it's a great thing.  I see a lot of posts from parents who stay home with their children talking about how they love it and it's the best thing. They can't imagine not doing that. Wonderful! I see posts that get shared that extol staying home full-time with your children. That's great, too.  But this post is specifically for the mom who works full-time outside the home. I don't see much for those of us who do that, so this is for us. I know "working mom" is a bit of a misnomer since all moms are working moms, but for clarity's s
1 comment
Read more

Fibromyalgia: My Journey of Health, Perspective, and Trust

This is less a post about failing, although I certainly had those moments. It's just something I'm sharing. I hope it helps someone in some way. It started back in May of 2011. Around the time of this picture on the lake. I randomly started having trouble breathing and realized I was coughing a lot. Of course, working at WebMD, I began a long process of self-diagnosing. (Something I try to never do now.) My symptoms seemed to point to asthma, although I imagined a dozen worse scenarios. The doctor thought it could be severe allergies so he gave me some medications to try. It didn't help.  I went back and he gave me an asthma test. It did not indicate asthma but did show some improvement in breathing with a breathing treatment, so he put me on inhaled steroids and a rescue inhaler. That did seem to help a bit... but when I say a bit, I really mean that. It was minimal improvement. I spent the whole summer barely able to breathe and unable to be outside for more than
3 comments
Read more